I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
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