I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
He called me from prison intake to wish me luck on my job interview. Somehow that's the most romantic thing that's ever happened to me.
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
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