I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
Randomize
