i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
A dude just looked at me like my drunk swaying was corrupting his progeny DUDE YOUR KID HAS A MULLET YOU'VE ALREADY RUINED HIM
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
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