i already hear my dad disowning me
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
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