The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
Randomize
