i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
No he's great. He's trying to do "sexy stuff" for me now, which is pretty hilarious. He stirred my daiquiri with his penis last night. He also tied a bouquet of flowers around it.
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
Randomize
