Theres puke in my trash can and spilled beer next to my bed... come get your girlfriend
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly.
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
Randomize
