is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
I pour the whiskey from now on
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
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