I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
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