I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
Randomize
