One girl and one boy is just not enough.
im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
Got a blowie from her in the cab on the way home. Made awkward eye contact with the cabbie who said, and I quote "Keep the mess in her mouth bro", I did so only out of respect
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
Are you drunk? You left me a voicemail at 5:59 AM of you making dolphin sounds.
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
Randomize
