We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
How external is "for external use only"?
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
Randomize
