Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
I touched a dick in church today
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
Randomize
