He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
Yea i'm supposed to have jury duty on monday. Hope they don't mind me still being drunk.
Na you can't get charged for public intoxication unless you're outside. I checked.
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
You can't Tinder AND have him bring you icecream in the same night. It messes with your vagina.
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
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