I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
Randomize
