So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
Randomize
