i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
Sext me about skeletons
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
Randomize
