its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
i thought to myself 'what a productive day'. then i realized all ive done is one load of laundry and shaved my balls.
someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
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