id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
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