No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
He was all “please don’t bail because I’m missing work for this” last night
Honey no, I need dick. I’m not going to bail
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
Randomize
