And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
I can't be 100% sure of this but I think tonight was the first time I told a middle aged woman holding a baby to go fuck herself
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
Randomize
