Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
Randomize
