did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
Randomize
