Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night.
just kidding, dedicating it to the gods of mexican food. omnomnom
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
Hey, scratch that. I've shit 8 times today. I don't have the energy to get laid so I cancelled my date.
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
Remember when I was real fucked up and said I would give up utensils and only use chopsticks for lent?...just got the reminder on my phone.
Randomize
