it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
If I could tell my younger self three things it would be: 1. Smoke a lot more weed 2. Have a lot more sex 3. Own a good set of pots and pans
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
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