I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
I could fuck to npr.
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
Randomize
