is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
last night i was so high that when a homeless person asked me for a dollar, i responded: dolla dolla bill ya'll.
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
Pro tip: When you spend the afternoon banging your boss, don’t meet your mother-in-law for dinner if you still smell like cum and watermelon flavored lube
Randomize
