her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
Oh FYI, people asked how/why I met you and I didn't want to say "drunk at a party on an air mattress" so I made a story up. It was a very cute and charming story with no alcohol.
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
i think im in europe. pls send help
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