I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
dear vagina, thank you for making it so goddamn hard to get pregnant. i love you.
I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
Instead of texting me to come over, she just sends me a batman symbol.
I don't care if she's a booty call. Marry her.
Randomize
