We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
I AM VODKA MAN
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
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