is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
Randomize