My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
I have a running excel spreadsheet detailing the number of shots in a night and subsequent ability to masturbate
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
Randomize
