It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
I looked at my own cervix.
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
Randomize
