i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
Showing up at the grocery store at 5am to have the clerk sprint to the condom cabinet waiving the keys because you told him to hurry it was an emergency
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
Randomize
