Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
this must be what syphilis tastes like
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
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