if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
vagina is talking i cant
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
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