My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
Redeem this text for a blowjob
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
dude you literally had like 30 screwdrivers, i thought you were gonna die
that explains why my vomit smells like it came from florida
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
Randomize
