Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
she called me screaming that i shouldn't ignore her phone calls, because she's not trying to get me to hang out with her and she doesn't want to be my girlfriend, she just wants sex.
what did you do?
i asked her out. that's so hot.
Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
Im part way to drunk.
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
Randomize
