We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
The following message is brought to you by IMSOFUCKINGSORRY. Dude I'm really sorry I got you arrested last night. You are allowed to choose a repayment plan from the following options: Money, weed, or a single kick to the balls any time within the next calender months. Repayment outside of the aforementioned options can be negotiated and considered within reason.
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
Randomize
