I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
Don't let me publish my memoir unless "hurt my ankle drunk irish dancing" is at least the title of a chapter because that is really the whole story of my life.
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
Randomize
