Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
Sign #1 that I'm not ready to be a mother: I'm shopping for "maternity fishnets".
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
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