OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
you traded sex for a burrito?
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize
