I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
Randomize
