Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
Randomize
