He asked to "fluff my boner.."
Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
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