I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
My credit card got frozen due to suspicious activity. "Let's go over your recent transaction history... it looks like these are all at bars." BITCH, DON'T JUDGE MY MONDAY NIGHTS.
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
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