i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
Randomize
