i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
Randomize
