Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
Just so you know sleeping with you is like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
That's the most romantic thing I've ever heard
Randomize
