was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
