Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
Randomize
