He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
she told me i tasted like america
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
When you get this divorce finalized we're going to mid evil times AND pirate dining adventure. We're gonna find you a couple of real men and make them joust/swashbuckle for your affection. My treat.
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
Randomize