We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
No I am not eating basil off your cock
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
Randomize