if you are receiving this text, you are one of the people i hate
Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
operation have a gay friend backfired
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
Randomize
