So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
Randomize
