Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
Randomize
