I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
If my neighbors have super loud sex again tonight, I'm going to leave a ball-gag and roll of duct tape in their mail slot.
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
I'm waiting for your stupid pizza and this 400 lb drunk man is behind me singing the acapella version of Elevation by U2
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
Randomize
