butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
Honestly I miss having a gay roommate. His female friends' implicit trust in him would carry over to me even though they knew Im straight. Best unintentional wingman ever.
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
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