im typing and i feel like my hands are on backwards.
Stop texting me, I'm right here.
Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
Can I come kidnap you from work so we can chug mimosas? My little brother has a ski mask I can borrow.
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