While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
Help me help you realize you are a moron
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
Randomize
