I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
Are those your contacts stuck to the mirror?!
Yeah. Drunk me tried to put my contacts on the mirror where my eyes were.
Randomize
