...i apologize for hitting you up so much tonight im just kinda in a little pickle. im going to sleep in my car near u so pretty plz lmk if you head home...
wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
Why did I just find out you and Andrew had sex right next to my face when I passed out on the beach?
At the time it seemed romantic and its also extremely frowned down upon to leave a passed out person by themselves in an unfamiliar place.
Why did I wake up by myself then?
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
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